You can feel helpless watching someone gasp for air, clutch their chest, and say they are sure they are dying. In those moments, your own fear can spike, which makes it harder to respond clearly. Knowing how to help stop panic attack symptoms from spiraling gives you something solid to reach for when everything feels chaotic.
This guide walks you through what a panic attack is, what to do in the first minute, how to ground the body, what to say and avoid, and when to seek medical help. It is written for partners, friends, parents, and anyone who wants practical, compassionate tools that work in real life.
What a panic attack really is?
A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear that often peaks within 10 minutes, then gradually eases. The body flips into alarm mode, even if there is no actual danger. Heart rate and breathing speed up, muscles tighten, and the mind starts scanning for threats.
Common symptoms include:
racing heart or pounding chest
shortness of breath or feeling unable to inhale fully
chest pain, dizziness, trembling, or sweating
a sense of doom, unreality, or feeling out of control
Medical resources like this overview of panic attacks note that the symptoms are very real, but not usually dangerous by themselves. The person may feel like they are dying, yet their body is running a false alarm rather than an actual collapse.
Remember: panic attacks often pass within 20 to 30 minutes, even if they feel endless. Your job is not to fix everything instantly, but to help them ride the wave more safely.
First 60 seconds: stabilize safety and breathing
The first minute is about three things: safety, presence, and breath. When you notice signs of panic, move gently but decisively.
Check immediate safety. If they are driving, help them pull over. If they are standing somewhere crowded, guide them to a quieter, safe spot. Use a calm tone and simple, direct language.
Anchor with your presence. Stand or sit beside them at eye level. Speak slowly: “You are not alone. I am here. We will ride this out together.” Your steadiness helps their nervous system .
Start your mental wellness journey today
Join thousands using Ube to manage stress, improve focus, and build lasting healthy habits.
Cue slower breathing. Do not insist on deep breaths, which can make dizziness worse. Instead, invite gentle, even breathing: in through the nose for 4 seconds, out through the mouth for 6.
You can say: “Let us count breaths together. In for 1-2-3-4, out for 1-2-3-4-5-6.” Matching your pace to theirs can reduce the sense of pressure while still nudging the body toward slower, steadier rhythm.
If the person has an established breathing practice, remind them of it. If they do not, learning simple techniques in advance, for example from guides on calming breath skills, can make future episodes easier to manage.
Ground the body to calm the brain
When panic hits, attention rockets into catastrophic thoughts: “I will faint, I will lose it in public, this will never stop.” Grounding shifts focus from frightening stories in the mind to concrete sensations in the body and surroundings.
A classic tool is the 5-4-3-2-1 method. Invite them to name:
5 things they can see
4 things they can feel against their skin
3 things they can hear
2 things they can smell
1 thing they can taste or imagine tasting
You can do it with them, gently prompting if they get stuck. This technique pulls the brain out of a runaway future and back into immediate reality. For more ideas, you might explore simple grounding techniques for anxiety when things are calm so you both have a shared toolkit.
Movement can help too. If they are able, suggest slowly pressing their feet into the floor, rolling their shoulders, or lightly stretching their hands. These micro-movements send signals that the body is active and not actually trapped or frozen.
What to say, what to avoid?
Words matter in a panic attack. They can either soften the experience or intensify shame and fear. Aim for language that is validating, specific, and non-fixing.
Helpful phrases:
“I can see this is really intense. I am here with you.”
“What you are feeling is scary, but it will pass.”
“Let us just focus on one breath at a time together.”
Unhelpful phrases to avoid:
“Calm down” or “You are overreacting.” These can make the person feel judged or defective.
“You are fine.” Their body feels far from fine, so this can feel dismissive.
Long explanations about why anxiety happens, which overload an already flooded brain.
Instead, keep your voice low and steady, and let silence exist. Your quiet presence can be more healing than a stream of advice. If you are the one panicking, you can talk to yourself out loud using similar words, which activates self-soothing circuits in the brain.
After the wave: helping recovery and next steps
Once the intensity drops, many people feel exhausted, shaky, or embarrassed. This is a delicate window. How you respond can shape whether they walk away with shame or self-respect.
Offer choices instead of commands. Ask: “Do you want to sit a bit longer, drink some water, or get fresh air?” Choices restore a sense of control that panic temporarily strips away. Continue gentle breathing or grounding if small aftershocks show up.
If they feel up to it, a brief debrief can help: “What did you notice right before it hit?” or “Was there anything I did that helped or did not help?” This is not about dissecting every second, it is about learning early cues and useful strategies for next time.
Over time, frequent panic attacks may signal a treatable condition such as panic disorder. Resources like the national guidelines on panic disorder explain how therapies and medication can reduce frequency and intensity. Encouraging the person to talk with a health professional is an act of care, not criticism.
Panic attacks can mimic serious medical events, particularly heart problems. It is important to treat new or unusual symptoms with caution, not assumptions.
Seek urgent medical evaluation or call emergency services if:
chest pain is severe, crushing, or radiates to the arm, jaw, or back
they have fainted, have trouble staying conscious, or cannot speak clearly
breathing is extremely labored, with blue lips or confusion
there is a known heart condition or other high-risk medical issue
Health services emphasize that a first-time episode with intense chest pain should be checked by a professional, since only medical evaluation can distinguish panic from cardiac issues with certainty. Guidance from sites like the UK health service information on panic can help you weigh when to seek help.
If it turns out to be a panic attack, you have still done the right thing. Many people feel safer knowing they were evaluated, and that knowledge can slightly lower fear in future episodes.
Caring for yourself as the helper
Supporting someone through repeated panic attacks can be draining. You might feel scared of saying the wrong thing, angry that plans keep getting disrupted, or guilty for feeling tired. These reactions are human. Denying them usually leads to quiet resentment.
Give yourself permission to have limits. You are allowed to say, “I can sit with you for fifteen minutes, then I need to lie down,” or “Let us build a plan with your therapist so it is not just on me.” Healthy boundaries protect both your wellbeing and the relationship.
It can also help to learn more about anxiety and nervous system regulation so the experience feels less mysterious. Resources such as evidence-based information on anxiety and fear can deepen your understanding, and gentle practices like breathwork, mindfulness, or journaling can strengthen your own baseline resilience.
Conclusion
You cannot erase someone else's panic, but you can make the experience far less terrifying. When you know what a panic attack is, how to slow breathing, and how to ground the body, you shift from frozen fear into steady, practical care.
Over time, these small, repeated actions build confidence for both of you. The person learns that waves of panic are survivable, and you learn that you have tools, not just worry. If you would like structured, on-demand support as you practice these skills, you might find Ube, an AI mental health chatbot for iOS and Android, a gentle companion for easing stress and anxiety.
FAQ
What is the fastest way to help stop a panic attack in someone?
Help them get to a safe spot, speak calmly, and guide slow, steady breathing while using simple grounding techniques such as naming what they can see and feel. Stay present rather than trying to fix everything.
How can I remember how to help stop panic attack symptoms when I am panicking too?
Prepare a short script and a 1-2-3 breathing plan in advance, then practice when calm. In the moment, focus only on one breath and one simple instruction at a time.
What should I avoid doing when trying to help stop panic attack?
Avoid saying “calm down,” arguing with their fears, or crowding them with questions. Do not force deep breaths or touch without consent, which can make fear or dizziness worse.
How long does a panic attack usually last if I use grounding and breathing?
Most panic attacks peak within 10 minutes and fade over 20 to 30, even without tools. Grounding and breathing do not always stop them instantly, but they generally reduce intensity and duration.
When is a panic attack an emergency that needs a hospital?
Treat it as urgent if there is severe chest pain, difficulty breathing, confusion, or loss of consciousness, especially with heart risk factors. In new or unclear situations, seeking medical help is safer than guessing at home.
